tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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