That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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