It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
