chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize