Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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