spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
