I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Randomize
