This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
