I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
