i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I still have a little drunk in my system
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
