I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
