it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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