i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
