You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
