Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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