vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
