maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
