Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize