We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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