i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
