I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
