Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
