called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
