I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
