Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
