Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize