Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
