She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
