he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
