I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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