im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just googled if crying burns calories
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I need a beard to bite.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
