Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
