I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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