He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize