perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Rumble strips road head = magical
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
