Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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