he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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