Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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