so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Congratulations! We have a period
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
