Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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