no, he came in my armpit
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
