Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
