I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
