I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
