I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
