i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We left the knife in your bed.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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