And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Four minutes until I can fart!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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