who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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