Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
