Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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