yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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