worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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