I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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