He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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