It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
