"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
