I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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