just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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